So grateful...

   
A lot of things happened this week. My parents came into town for my graduation and it was a crazy few days while they were in town. As I prepared to post something about graduation, i notice that all my thoughts gravitated towards the selflessness and love of my parents so I think I'll just tell you tell you the happenings of the week and see if you notice the same trends I did.
     Tuesday was my graduation, their flight was delayed but they made it to the I-Center just in time to see me walk in. they found their seats and we went through graduation. President Clark addressed us and gave us statistics of our graduating class. Then we were blessed to hear from Elder Gay of the 1st Quorum of the 70.he gave us such a great message, we were reminded how important it is to contribute what we have to those around us. I met up with my parents and Chad after the Convocation and took a few pictures and chatted it up. I was starving! So we ran to the Taylor and mom got rid of all of her purse change getting us treats from the vending machine.
Side note: Dad got strawberry milk. Nestle Strawberry milk tastes exactly like the milk in your cereal bowl after you eat Captain Crunch with Berries. No joke.
     We went up to the part of graduation where I walk and receive my diploma cover. The talks were great! The last speaker, bless her sweet little heart, mid sentence said , "and now i think i'm going to faint so i'm not sure if I should keep going or sit down." Immediately three people shot up and walked her to her seat. normal people were worried about her....me and my family in the row behind the graduates were cracking up! It was so sweet the way she said it, almost as if we had a say in her decision to stand or sit. She's alright.
     I walked, received my cover, the pin from the alumni association and bailed! We didn't even stay to the end, baby was way too hungry! Sam and Preston and Aaron came and Sam was kind enough to take some pictures for us afterwards.
   We headed back to the house where I had prepared dinner in advance (since there are only three nice-ish restaurants in Rexburg and or 1000 graduates, I figured it'd be best to make something at home tonight).Thank heavens I made a massive crock pot full of my lasagna soup and two things of garlic bread because Ryan, Kelsey, Gary, Stephen, Austin and Micheal all came over with hungry bellies. all night long we laughed, ate and caught up. my sweet parents, asked them all questions and I realized just how big a part of my life and friendships they were in high school. I kinda have this feeling my friends like my parents more than me, I'm not jealous or anything, more proud.We went to bed late that night, much later than I'm used to.
   We woke up and got ready to go but first Chad and I needed to paint an apartment to get ready for an incoming tenant. naturally, My parents ask for painting clothes and immediately start painting the walls. my mom and dad have done a lot of painting around their own house, and I know for a fact it's not their favorite pass time but here they were, bright and early in a hot apartment painting away with a big smile on their faces. We got it done in half the time.
    The boys (Chad, Dad and Austin) played a game of golf while me and my mom chitchatted and got ready to go thrift shopping (a Guttery favorite). As we talked a subject that always comes up came up. Memories, my mom is a serious memory hoarder, she doesnt forget anything and always tells her girls to write everything down and journal or blog about things that are important in our lives. We got talking about my high school days since we had been with the mesa boys the night before. I told my mom, I wasn't the greatest kid in high school. I was good enough, i got good grades, hung out with good people and didn't get in any serious trouble but I didn't value my parents and my sisters as much as I should have. i valued friends, trips, and less important aspects of my life than my family. I was also kind of a Debbie downer, i was a little sarcastic and quick to beat myself up over nothing. I remember late nights after coming home later than allowed and arguing with my parents over why it was absolutely necessary for me to stay at some party for 30 more minutes (It wasn't).Some people would argue that it's normal for a teenager to want to got with friends on a weekend trip and miss a family trip but looking at it now, I think I was way off base and wish I hadn't. I feel like my friendships and experiences in high school really made me who I am but my only regret is that I didn't value the time with my family as much as I did with my friends.
   If you know me now you know that's not the case, it's even hard for me to admit that it ever was the case but I beat myself up over not spending more time with my sisters in high school or getting along with my parents.
   Marriage has changed me for the better in every way but especially this one. As I moved away and started building my own family, I've come to realize just how amazing my parents are and how individually spectacular each one of my sisters are. I miss them so dearly, many tears are shed thinking about what milestones I'm missing, baptisms, first crushes, braces, permit and license tests, young women and excellence nights, first dances etc. I miss my parents constant examples of patience, love and commitment to each other and to my sisters. (not that I don't feel it in Idaho but i miss the every day interactions). I miss making hilarious inside jokes with my sisters, watching them develop their own special personalities, independent of anyone else. And hugs, i miss hugging, pinching, doing hair, wrestling, running, dancing and singing with my sisters and mama.
    I miss it so much and I often look forward to the next time we'll all be together, where Chad can get to know my family for their zany personalities and everyday conversations of silliness. I look forward to being more involved in my sisters lives and being the sister that is so close they can always come over and talk when they need to.
   But as I talked with my mom, I always worry that she doesn't know just how much I love her, how much i adore our family and my sisters and how crazy I am about the examples her and my dad have set for me and Chad. I worry because I still kinda feel like I never apologized enough for not being the perfect teenager.
THE GOOD PART
      As we sat in the kitchen talking about I apologized (again) for being a rough teen, being sarcastic, rude and inconsiderate. She laughed and said, Kayla, I don't remember any of that with you?! You were great, we had a few tough nights but you were just growing up. For some reason, when my mom said "I don't remember any of that with you" I thought about the atonement of Jesus Christ. The atonement made it possible, that through repentance, we can be forgiven of our sins and short comings, no matter how guilty we feel or ashamed we are of our past transgressions, we can be forgiven fully through Christ and God will 'remember them no more'. I thought 'what a extremely special relationship between earthly and heavenly parents. Just as the father can forgive me and 'remember my sins no more', through the atonement, it is possible for my earthly parents to forget my short comings and sins as i repent and change and they forgive and forget. That relationship has never been so clear to me and I'm overwhelmingly grateful to know that as i continue to use the atonement, repent and become better, my parents and my heavenly parents can always know me for who I am and not the actions or attitudes of my past.
    As I shared this thought with my mom, I knew it was true and that it was not mine, but the saviors inspiration for me. I'm so grateful to have had this special experience with my mom and to have been instructed by the spirit.
    I know I was a good kid. I am not so sarcastic any more and I done talk back anymore but it turns out i'm still pretty hard on myself :) I'm grateful to have opportunities to grow and become better, I've got a long way but I know the Lord forgives and forgets, I hope to follow that pattern with my own children, forgive and forget and inspire growth and progression.
    I love my mama.
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Back to the week
THE GOOD PART
    We went out to eat for lunch and instead of finding something around town to do all my parents wanted to do was serve! My awesome cousin Austin had to be out of his apartment in 3 hours and hadn't quite started packing. so all my mom and dad talked about was "lets go get Austin outta there", "Lets go clean his old place", "Lets see what else we can do to help". I don't know why I was confused by this, I should know that my parents would prefer to serve others over just about anything but we got to Austins and spend and hour or so cleaning packing and moving boxes out of his apartment. We were done in no time and had a ton of fun with the boys.
    We went and saw "World War Z". not a smart choice. My mom and I were the life of the party as we jumped and screamed at every zombie that popped out. Naturally, Chad and Dad loved it. My dad liked the part where the zombies chattered their teeth...if it wasn't for my dad laughing at all the zombies I would have never known it was a comedy.
    We ran back home, got on some gym cloths and went an played tennis...all i'm going to say about this is that I'm super excited to play with them again soon, and and chad want to get really good, it was so much fun! We went to Neilson and had a grinder afterwards and went home and crashed!
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The last day was the craziest. I had to deal with this internship issue and I was so scared. we got ready in the morning and knelt as a family, asking the Lord to soften the hearts of those who make these decisions and helping them to see the reasoning behind my request. We went to the record office and I started my plea!
   They...were....heartless
(if you don't understand read previous posts)
 I explained to them the injustice in denying me my petition the day after my graduation as I turned it in a month before. They originally informed me that it takes, at most, a week to make decisions of this kind and that most credit changes are very simple and nothing to be worried about. This knowledge led me to be lieve that I would need a short letter asking for a change (with little explaination) and i would hear back very soon, after numerous calls and e-mails with no response, i cam ein the week before graduation, confused at wy I hadn't heard anything yet and wondering what I needed to do to ensure I met all requirment for my internship. they gave me no help at all. They sent me a away twice, both times, telling me to comeback the following Monday to receive the information i needed. I came in the day before graduation and they still had nothing so I graduated n(or at least i thought I did, I walked) and assumed everything they told me, like "No news is good news" and "this process is simple and very commonly approved" and "we'll inform you as soon as we know" was true.
   I received a e-mail the morning after graduation telling me my request was denied. I was a mess. i had done literally everything they had asked me to. I felt my reasons for wanting this simple change was more that acceptable and i followed all the BYU-I rules and guidelines for this procedure with precision and timeliness.
   I explained this to them and all they could say was that there was a 50/50 chance for acceptance of my petition and they got back to be as soon as the committee made their decision,
  Bologna
So my sweet dad steps in. he has a way with words, and what I mean by that is that he has a way of telling the the story in a way that makes you want to hug him when he's done, he's just so friendly. He approached it calmly but firmly...for 40 minutes. They would not budge. they wouldn't even admit that they had misinformed me (which they had done at least 6 times throughout the last month). My dad started to get frustrated and the head of the records office came to the window to 'smooth things over'. bad idea. This only infuriated us more, he was in charge and he still pretended like he had no say or power. I understand if you can't change the petitions decision but at least be willing to vouch for you're mistakes as a department and stand up for my case after making it near to impossible for me to get approved with your lousy advisors. My dad re-explained the heck that they put me through, adding embellishments of disgust and outrage for thier lack of accountability in the issue. They he told them that the least they could do is make a call to someone who can make a difference and express their own opinion on the appeal.
They were relentlessly cold and brainless
My dad is rarely not able to appeal to anyone so he started getting a little desperate. luckily he got the name and number of the head internship adviser so that we could talk to someone else that might be more human about the situation but before we left, my dad said, " You know whats right, you know you have the ability to call some one, right something, and take responsibility for the ill-advise given to my daughter over the past month. I feel there is an obligation on your part to do something but I can't make you so if you don't, you go home and eat your dinner tonight and that's fine... but you know whats right."
I love my dad, and so I will tease him
 "Go home and eat your dinner tonight?!" haha that's my dad trying to be aggressive. So darling!
That being said, he represented me so well and helped me convey my disappointment and get the information I needed. Without him, I would not have received the name and number I needed to continue my quest for a diploma. Dad, you're my hero! I feel like we were a great team, he said all the things that really needed to be said and I smoothed over the rest and was a chiming voice of reason between the facts and probing sessions.
( I bet you didn't know I could dissect a discussion like that...one of my many talents)
We walked to the next clue on our diploma treasure hunt at the internship advisor center, the whole way my dad was spouting off who he was going to e-mail, call and write letters to about this disgraceful experience at the records office (needless to say, BYU-I left a bad taste in our mouths). We sat down with the head honcho in the academic discover center and I poured out my heart to him. I explained all my frustrations but got right to the point...how do I fix this, there has to be a way to get credit for all my work.
He was a human!
He felt emotions!
He had a brain, that worked and thought through situations!
IT WAS A MIRACLE
He solve my problems in 5 minutes, he called a few people, he sent an email to me teach and laugh while explaining, "it's probably best we keep the records office out of this one". Instant best friends. We all shook his hand and thanked him too many times before leaving. Justin Hodges in the Academic Discover Center thanks for listen and actually helping me out, i'll seriously never forget you. (#creeperstatus)
We went home with a huge prayer of thanks in our hearts, finally 2 days after graduation i felt that special feeling of satisfaction knowing that I really had graduated and done everything required for my degree. It felt awesome!
We headed straight to Idaho Falls for some maternity shopping! So exciting! We went to motherhood and found some great stuff, and Chad got to see what it would be like to carry our child...kind of.

Mom and Dad spoiled me  like crazy and I finally have some clothes that fit.Then they treated us to an amazing dinner at Outback Steakhouse after which I decided that it's my favorite steak place. We drove straight to the airport to drop them off for the flight that would then be delayed an hour (thanks Allegiant for being so consistently crappy). As we drove away.....I cried. Ever since the evening of January 2nd 2011 when I drove away from my parent house with them in the driveway waving goodbye As we drove off to Idaho, I have never once not cried upon our departure from them. I love them so much and appreciate all thier support.

Shout Out Time

1st and foremost, Chad Merrell
    Chad,, you are my anchor, my food delivery boy, my human tissue, my therapist, my ever supporting husband, best friend and love. He helped me through late nights full of tears and frustration and he celebrated early submission and classes passed and he encouraged me to keep going and surpass my goals. Chad I love you so much and could not have graduated without you. Your turn hunnie!

1st my Parents
     You're set the perfect example for me and I'm always striving to follow it. You helped your poor college daughter make ends meet a few times, you've reminded me that "This is a short season in my life" and you've also always reminded me that it is a great season to enjoy. You've made it all possible with you're love support and example. I love you!

1st my Sisters
    Thanks for loving me even though I'm so far away. Thanks for answering my calls, skyping whenever I asked and trying to involve me even though I'm so far away! I miss you so much but you inspired me to get an education, stay spiritually close to the Savior and become the girl I am. I love you each and cannot wait to get down to see you. Danica, thank you for paving the path and reminding me it's possible.

1st my baby
     This is for you. I value my education so much. I studied everything i could to better my family relations, communicaiton skills and my ability to understand people from all backgrounds because I want you to know how important it is to me to see others through Christs eyes. Baby, I love you and I hope you work hard all your life to get your education, gain wisdom and knowledge, all that you can in this life so that you can help others and serve the Lords Children.