Stressed to the Max!

Not the Best week for this mama. SO I'm a senior, and not just any senior, but the "i'm finishing up my last class this week" kind of senior. Other seniors in the same timeline as myself are elated, excited to be graduating, relaxing and finishing up final assignments and organizing graduation details...not me. My senior Thesis, (which for my major, is like the sealing capstone to my last four years of research and writing) is making my life a living hell. (I feel like that word was used appropriately). I have been building this paper, page by page, for the last 8 semesters, I've revised, redone, and reviewed this paper too many times to count and I've used the same topic for two years, studying the in's and out's of Marriage views as a nation and levels of religiosity and how those variables impact each other (if you dozed off after reading that last sentence, no need to fear, that's a normal response)
     This semester and last, I chose a set of data (which is pretty much just a huge survey that's done yearly with over 5000 questions, 1/3 of which deal with my topics of interest. I've been using this data set to research my own sociological questions and create my senior thesis. This process takes a long time, it's a very tedious work with hours of recoding and syntax formulas with hour and hours more to read that syntax and results of the test we run on the data (AKA it takes a long time to get information that makes sense in to our variables from the data....AKA it isn't fun) All semester I've struggled to run these test and get through this paper because of how sick I was the first 4-5 weeks. However, I worked with tutors every week,and I worked my booty off and got with classmates to stay caught up.
     This week, I got the wind knocked outta me by my data set. I finally was at the point were I could run my regression (my test that gives me the final results of my research) and as I ran it, the results came back and they looked like this...






See that...it's nothing.

I got no results! It didn't make sense, I got this data set from a teacher, I've been working with the variables all semester! Turns out, it was a faulty data set and I would need to start over....new variables, new data, new tests....... and worst of all....new paper.
       Needless to say, some tears were shed (freakin pools of water). I whined to my patient husband for about an hour then sat down and started writing out a game plan. Thank heavens i knew this class would require some extra hours so I asked my other teachers if i could take thier finals early, which means as of today all my other classes are finished! Yay! 4 A's down and now just this one unidentified nightmare to go.

Just as a side note, because I feel I need to explain my dramatic nature. If I don't get an A or B on this paper, I do not graduate....I DON'T GRADUATE! At least not this semester and that kind ruins a lot of plans. Plus, I feel a little screwed over, I did everything right, I did  my make-up work when I was sick, I stayed up on my paper, but my teacher gave me a faulty data set and now i'm drowning in my own self-pity and stressed out of my mind. (more whining...so sue me)

SOOO... here is the game plan. I'm going to stop blogging (because frankly I should be writing and running test but I'm so burnt out, I can justify 10 minutes of free time on blogger.com) Then all Saturday, I re-write my Intro, Thesis, Theory, Methods,  and Data section (Writings the worst part so I'd like to start on that right away) Sunday ...day of rest so i think i'll pray like crazy. Monday I take my paper in for review and have my teacher check all my recodes and clear me to run my results. Tuesday, run my results, tutoring sesh with Michaela at 12:30-2, she'll help me read my results and put it into words, Wednesday, tutoring with my teacher, sister Jenson from 11:30-2, she'll help me perfect my Results, Discussion section and conclusion sections as well as double check all my references to make sure all 40 (yes 40) annotated references are cited correctly in ASA formatting. Thursday, I present my senior thesis in front of all my peers and three of my department instructors, 10 minute presentation (I plan on standing up there and crying til they tell me I can sit down....sounds solid huh). Friday, I submit my paper and am finished with my Bachelors degree.....if I make it to Friday.

Guys I'm dying! I don't think I've ever been this stressed and worried about my schooling! I've gotta pass this class! I just have to.

Aside from all this stress I have to point out, the Lord hears my cries. He really does....and so does my husband. My body doesn't deal with stress well, I get sick, I struggle breathing and I'm just not made to stress but I know how important it is for me to stay relatively stress free with this little babe in me and I know I've been able to stay healthy because I've prayed for Heavenly Father to help my body cope. I'm so grateful for that and I and SO grateful for my sweet chad! All of this went down on Wednesday evening, so you can be sure Chad made plans to make my life a stress free as possible. I woke up on Thursday (the busiest day of my week) to a stack of pancakes, syrup and a glass of orange juice by my bed! I freaked out and thought "what birthday, anniversary, holiday did i forget?!" But no, chad came in and gave me a huge hug and said, I just want you to start you're day off right! You can do this babe!... naturally, i cried. He's so sweet, while I was getting ready for my beyond crazy day of running to Idaho Falls for internship interviews and tutoring appointments, paper submissions and test. Chad checked my tire pressure and offered to drive with me everywhere today... i think he knew before i knew that I would just need him to be with me that day. A totally crazy stressful day turned into a much need day of errands with my sweet husband. He stayed by my side all day long, taking care of me, reminding me that everything was going to be ok and just making my day. He is amazing and I'm so lucky to have him.

I think I'm going to be ok. Not to say I couldn't use some prayers (cause I could and you should) but I've got a game plan, a Heavenly Father who loves and and a hubby to help me through.

Stay tuned to hear if I graduate...or die or something.