The best I can

Just when you think you're in the clear....
 
 Today is my senior research presentation. As I mentioned in previous posts, the project has been the death of me, it's eaten me alive and spit me back out day after day this semester and today... I finish it!I got up early, went to school and started peer reviewing with a friend, she edited my paper and helped me make some final adjustments to make it look perfect. I still had the discussion and conclusion section to finish but the worst was over so she was helping me perfect what I had. Jessica had to go to class so I decide to head over to the MC building where I would need to check into the research conference in an hour, I wanted to be the first to check and and continue working on my paper while I waited to present. On my way i thought I would check in at the Kimball building (where the records office is) and see if they had made a decision on whether my internship exception petition was accepted (for those of you who don't know, I started the semester registered for a 2 credit internship and with the pregnancy and morning sickness, i decided to petition to make it a 1 credit internship, so I wouldn't stress about getting to Idaho Falls when I was struggling with morning sickness real bad) I submitted the exception form 4 weeks ago so i was sure they had made a decision and just forgot to e-mail me or contact me to tell me the results.
    I get there and wait...and wait and wait..... for 45 minutes to be helped (because its my FINAL finals week, i have nothing better to do right?!) Just before i get up to ask if they forgot me a guy comes and asks me to follow him to the next window to be helped. He informs me that the person who makes these decisions is out of town so we wont know til Monday....aka the day before I graduate. I wanted to ask....."has this guy who makes every decision for all 200-300 academic exception petitions a week been out of town for the past 4 weeks because I turned it in a month ago!" Or "You said you received my e-mail inquiring about this issue....why was I not responded to!?" or maybe "When you are a few days from graduating can I tell you "it's not that big of a deal, you have a  50% chance of getting approved so I wouldn't be worried." and see how you react?!" I didn't ask those questions, i turned around and began to walk away when the man at the window said " But that's not what I'd be worried about, you're one credit short of graduating even without the internship."
Heart----sunk
What?  oh yeah, it says here you are missing one credit in your minors requirements....you can't graduate without that. I grabbed the transcript from his hand and ran (literally) to the academic advising center.
Side note: I am one of the most on the ball people when it comes to my graduation. For the past 6 semesters I have scheduled a meeting at the beginning and end of each semester to ensure I could graduate July 23rd 2013. I meet with them and make sure all my classes are correct before AND after I register for each semester and at the end of each semester I go in to meet with someone to make sure I'm still on the right track (because BYU-I likes to change their course catalogs..like, a lot!). SO you could easily assume that I had this semester taken care of about 6 months in advance.
 I asked the lady at the desk in the advising office who i could meet to talk about graduation requirements and credit issues. "It was like she knew exactly what had just happened because she said, "Oh did you receive this transcript from the records office, they are always messing these things up. Chances are its a big mistake on their part and you're totally fine to graduate, we'll set you up with an adviser and get it sorted out." I was so comforted!
For like 2 minutes
I sat with the adviser and after reviewing my transcript he said, "well it looks like you are actually missing one credit."
Side note: if I didn't understand the term "emotional roller coaster".....i did now.
I explained that i come in and get advised twice a semester I I was told if I took the following classes, it would fill the requirements I needed to graduate. He asked when it was that i came in last to i pulled out my planner to give him the exact days (they keep log notes on the computer of all the visits). He looked up the date.....i wasn't in there. Tears were welling up behind my eyes, the stress of the day was just a little too much for me at this point. I choked it back but he could tell I was upset, I explained that the reason there were no notes on my visit was because I had been asked if I wouldn't mind being advised by a new employee they were training and the head of the department  in her office, so it was not a typical meeting.
 The adviser, looked as hopeless as I did. He kept saying "i'm so sorry this happened to you" and while I know he was trying to comfort me and express his condolences, i wanted to scream, "THEN FIX IT!"
   I filled out yet another petition to have my last credit waived but it's a long shot.
This is where I ask for the prayers of my bloggers....
  I stepped outside and walked down to the gardens in the middle of campus (I was pretty sure i'd be alone there) and just cried. I called Chad and cried to him a little too. Ok, i cried to him a LOT!
Chad, being the amazing husband he is, calmed me right down. He said things like this happens, it's not that hard to get one credit waived, especially when I was ill-advised and that he would take me up to the advising center on Friday morning to make sure personally, that it was all taken care of. He clammed me down so fast, reminding me that i had a paper to finish and a presentation to prepare for. He offered to bring me food (which he knows always makes me happy) and told me I was going to graduate, these issues were temporary and fixable.
I love him.
He came a picked me up, with ice cream in hand and took me home to get off campus for a while. I only had about 20 minutes before my last peer review appointment so i grabbed my flipflops, ate and sandwich and asked my sweet husband for a blessing. this is where blogging is tough, words cannot be used to express my love for my husband and his priesthood that he holds with honor. Days like today, I feel exceptionally honored to be his wife and grateful for his love for me and his dedication to the Father. He came over to me and all I could say was, "He knows what I need." Chad the proceeded to give me a blessing that calmed my heart and while it wasn't verbally pronounced, this blessing distinctly told me, 'The Lord is in charge' I know that and I'm grateful for the knowledge and reassurance that as I do all that I can, the Lord will make up the difference. He has a plan for me and I know I'm following it.
I gathered myself a little and set back into paper mode. I wrote for a few more hours and prepared my presentation. I presented first so I needed to be there early to set up.... I showed up and the judges were 10 minutes late. I started my presentation and the nerves went away... turns out I actually know what I'm talking about! The presentation went well, despite the fact that i could hardly stand on my bruised feet from hiking up and down  campus all day in my presentation attire, my make up was gone...just gone from crying. and I presented to the schools statistician who undoubtedly knew the train wreck that was my research project.
It was over...100 pts in the bag.
Now back to my paper, which i didn't finish because I spent three hours crying, running and hearing bad news. I received a text from Jessica, her and another class mate asked if they could help. That's right, finals weekend, two exceptional students wanted to help me pass this class! I'm so grateful to them, they don't know how God-sent their assistance was. They reviewed my last two sections and stayed up late helping me make it a perfect paper. At 12:05 on Friday the 19th of July 2013, I submitted my senior research.
 It's hard to believe it's over! My chest is still tight with anxiety and last night I still had dreams about regressions and Anova table conversions in excel ... i wonder when those will stop?
This week was one of the hardest weeks I have ever been through and I hope i look back and laugh at all this someday, but for now, I'm glad it's over, I'm glad the Lords was able to teach me and I'm glad I did it! I'm proud of myself, as ironic as it may sound, I'm proud of what I've accomplished this week! But more importantly I'm proud of what I've accomplished the past 4 years of college. I'm not what you would call a "gifted learner" I struggle to get good grades, and to finish with a 3.6 GPA is very satisfying.
*Kids...if mom can do it, so can you!