Waiting. waiting. waiting.
I spent a lot of time waiting this week. speed walking and stair climbing for hours each day and waiting to feel a contraction. eating about 20 times more than the suggested serving of pineapple and waiting for any indication that my cervix was ripening. Bouncing on an exercise ball for hours on end and waiting for something other than my thighs to burn. Waiting all week for an appointment where the doctor would tell me good news. Waiting for labor that never came.
Don't get me wrong, I stayed busy but all I could think about was feeling that first really good contraction and there's absolutely nothing I can do about the fact that they aren't happening. While I love Chad very much, he hasn't helped. He's just as nervous as I am, we're both so anxious to meet him we can hardly function. Chad used to playfully get down to Liams level, hold my belly and say " come out, come out little man!"...now he gets down there with a solemn look on his face and has a serious man-to-man talk with our son, "Liam, it is time for you to come out, you don't belong there anymore and you need to start cooperating. You're being rude." I try to tell him not to take it personally but I'm struggling with that myself!
My favorite thing Chads said this week and maybe ever is when we were in the car this Friday. I was particularly discouraged and uncomfortable and while I wasn't saying anything, my sweet man picked up on it and said, "Maybe on Sunday we'll make a birthday cake and sing him happy birthday...then maybe he'll want to come out?"
You guys, he was being so serious, it was perfectly genuine and sweet.
We're trying it.
Our appointment went much better than last weeks...I'm sayin it, I LOVE my doctor. He made me feel so at ease, but at the same time he was real with us. He said I was dilated to a 2 (Same as last week, but it sounded better coming from him for some reason). I was a little discouraged because I've been walking and bouncing and climbing so much but he reminded me that people go from a 2 to a 5 in a day all the time. He also explained that it was entirely my decision whether I be induced or not and how long I wait to do so, which made it all the easier to go with his personal opinion. He said, "nothing good happens after 41 weeks" risks go up and chances of complications increase. Frankly with the size of Liam right now, I have to agree with him, the sooner the better, he's a big boy already.
We decided that if he hasn't come by the 17th by himself, I'll be induced on that day. It's 5 days after my due date so I feel like its enough time to give him a chance to come on his own and it still give me the piece of mind that I'll have my baby, no matter what, by next Saturday.Plus my mom will be here and if I have to be induced, it'd be a real blessing to have a mama who's been there before there by my side.
I'm scared. I don't want to be induced, and I might flip if I have to get a C-Section but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm healthy, my baby's healthy, I'm doing everything I can and he'll come when he wants, the way he wants.
My sweet sister-in-law, Kim reminded me that even worst case senario, I have a C-Section, if I end up with a healthy baby and I'm healthy...it was a success!
This weeks mission, be more positive :)
Week:40
Total Weight Gain: 38 pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight.
Stretch Marks: Lots and lots, its like a colorful sunset on my belly, and now its dry too.
Best Moment This Week: Chads reaction to knowing that we will have a baby in a week....it hit him!
Missing: My feet. when I move them, the nerves hurt so bad and I get crazy cramps....i want them back!
Movement: Lots
and lots, the doctor said he's completely stretched out from the top of
my ribs to the very bottom...yeah just make yourself comfortable, I'll
breathe later.
Symptoms: Back pains and swollen everything.
Symptoms: Back pains and swollen everything.
Food Cravings: Ice Cream all day long (don't worry, just cravings, not actually eating excessive amounts of ice cream)
Causing Nausea: NONE
Causing Nausea: NONE
Labor Signs:nothing much...LESS then last week (what the heck)
Belly Button: Popped!
Wedding ring: Off
Moods: Anxious
Next Doctor's Appointment: Next Thursday, I'll get my membrane stripped and off to the hospital the next day. (if he hasn't come earlier.)
Looking Forward to: MEETING MY SON!
He's the size of a jackfruit !
HE IS COMMING IN 5 DAYS!!!!! Kayla, no matter what you will meet that sweet precious bundle of joy in 5 days. This is so exciting. And maybe he will be a good boy and surprise you earlier, but no matter what he will be here THIS WEEK!
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