He's still alive!

   

  One month down and he's still alive! That was my goal people! Liams alive and happy...i think? It's been a crazy month, lots of ups and downs but Liams been a constant source of love and joy....regardless of his crazy mama. If I've learned anything this month, it's that my sweet boy loves me back (which is extremely comforting for this new mom). Every time something went wrong (as so many things did) I felt so responsible for any discomfort, unhappiness or risk that he faced, it was hard to believe that we could ever love me (at least not nearly as much as I love him) but he does and I'm starting to realize that he MIGHT know that I love him too.
  As I look back on this month I remember some of those scary emotions I felt right after he was born. I remember feeling more love for William than I had ever felt before, so much that it scared me a little! What would I do if anything ever happened to him! I still feel that way but the Lord knows me so well.
   Chad and I were both very nervous about the fragile little body that was now our whole world. I remember praying that he would just be 3 or 4 months already so I could worry a little less about him getting sick. So naturally, Chad got Bronchitis and I got a fever just as he was getting better then I was "blessed" with a real bad head cold shortly after. Chad and I prayed a lot, recieved a few blessings and after a really REALLY long week we came to this conclusion.
   The Lord knew that the only way I'd get over my debilitating fear of getting Liam sick was if that risk was prominent and I lost control of that situation. It was a tough lesson but I learned that with Liam, I'm going to need to rely more fully on Him, and it wasn't until Chad and I were both desperately ill at the same time, both of us with face masks on 24/7 and handsdryed and cracked from hand sanitizer and hardly able to take care of ourselves, yet alone a newborn,  that we knelt and surrendered to His will entirely. We knew the Lord would take care of Liam and us but the Lord gave us the opportunity to have nothing but Him and know that that's really all we need. Seriously tender mercies.
  I was able to see the Lords love for my son and  I know Liam knows how hard I'm trying. A smile at a 2am feeding or the relieving breaths after I clean out his nose or just him lifting up his sweet head to smile at me for no reason when we're chilling on the couch..I think we're going to be good friends :)
Let the good times roll!
  
William James Merrell
1 Month Old!
10 lbs 1l oz
22 inches

-Wide eyed all the time!
-Side smiling whenever we ask
-Arching his back whenever he can
-Sticks out his tiny pointy tongue all the time
-Eating MUCH better than the first week
-Sleeping MUCH less
-Loves to "run the bases" with dad after diaper changes
-Always lifts his head up to look around (strong little man!)

Here are a few "One Month " Pics that Breea took for us! and another few that I had to throw in there from throughout the month :) Enjoy!