Hermana Guttery

Kind of a special story.

Lately I've been studying a book I read in high school called "Hearing the voice of the Lord" by Gerald N Lund, one of my favorite LDS authors (If you haven't read this one, read it! I've given it to friends since high school and would still recommend it if you're trying to establish a better relationship with the Holy Ghost). With everything that has been going on with our family, I have been turning to every resource the Lord provides to better understand his plan for me. The last three months or so, our family council has consisted of brainstorming what we can be doing better, what we can be eliminating from our lives and how we can better invited the spirit so it's not just a constant companion, but so that it has an obvious place and presence in our home. We've tweaked some lifestyle habits that deter the spirit, watching TV on Sunday, using our phones too much and few others. Our FHE's consisted of sharing testimony of our experiences with receiving answers to prayers and discussing how we got there.

What it comes down to is I felt like I hadn't really received an answer to a prayer in a while. I was truly trying and deeply desired for my relationship with the spirit to be strengthened. I studied scriptures and prayed with real intent. REAL intent. Obviously something was missing, why else would I not be receiving answers? I know the Lord answers prayers, I've had that testimony for years but after months of what felt like echoing prayers, I felt a tinge of doubt...not doubt that he answers prayers, but doubt that he answers MY prayers.

After a trip to the temple, with what felt like just a good feeling for being obedient, I decided that obedience would be my means of receiving answers and that no matter how long it took to receive an answer, I'd just be obedient, and have faith that my best was enough.

  I've read Elder Uchtdorfs talk "He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home" from Aprils conference, probably 10 seperate times in the past 5 months. I just LOVE his insight on obedience. Previously, other paragraphs have had more impact on me, but more recently I've loved this excerpt.

"As we increase in faith, we also must increase in faithfulness. Earlier I quoted a German author who lamented the destruction of Dresden. He also penned the phrase “Es gibt nichts Gutes, ausser: Man tut es.” For those who do not speak the celestial language, this is translated as “There is nothing good unless you do it.”

 You and I may speak most eloquently of spiritual things. We may impress people with our keen intellectual interpretation of religious topics. We may rhapsodize about religion and “dream of [our] mansion above.” But if our faith does not change the way we live—if our beliefs do not influence our daily decisions—our religion is vain, and our faith, if not dead, is certainly not well and is in danger of eventually flatlining.

Obedience is the lifeblood of faith. It is by obedience that we gather light into our souls."

Further, I've gathered peace from this simple truth...

“And no man receiveth a fullness unless he keepeth his commandments...He that keepeth commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.”

The goal wasn't to know exactly what I was supposed to be doing, where I was supposed to be and what I should do at every crossroad. The goal was to have a relationship with the spirit that would give me the confidence that I would be able to understand the spirit when the Lord was ready to give me direction.  

We buckled down. More studying, less laziness. We attended the temple often and (here's the important part) we really prepared to be there. Before we were always running in and catching our breath as we sit for the endowment session, which really meant we weren't really present until about 15-20 minutes in. Now we arrive 15 minutes early and having time to pray together in the pews before the session to invite the spirit of inspiration into our hearts. We aren't perfect, we're still establishing these habits and we mess up, a lot, but we're aiming higher and working harder.

After a session a few weeks ago, Chad and I were in the car driving back to the sitters to pick up the kids, just talking about our impressions and I said " I know this sounds strange but I couldn't stop thinking about McKenna. I felt like she really needed to be in their with us...or that she would be there with us soon. I felt urgency for her." I recorded my feeling even though I wasn't sure if they had any significance.

It wasn't until a week later, I was visiting with my mom and saw Kennas car in the drive. I went down to the basement to visit, see how work was going and catch up with her (she's normally working or out with friends who would soon be leaving for college). We talked for a while until I remembered the impression from the temple and felt like I could tell her about it. Unfortunately, I wasn't confident that the impression was even an impression or just a thought, so I approach the conversation timidly.

"Kenna, so, I was in the temple last week, and I don't know if this is an impression or just a thought, but I had it in the temple and I can't shake it, so take what you will from it. I felt so strongly that you'd be in the temple with me soon. I just felt and urgency for you to attend the temple....so yeah, take that."

So tactful...

Tears welled up in her eyes. She said, "Kayla, I turned in my papers last month and my call will be here tomorrow!" She hadn't told anyone, she had planned to surprise us all by pulling out her envelope when the family was all together. I may have ruined her surprise for me but this was a far better way for me to receive the good news! She would be in the temple with me soon! I was so overwhelmed with validation and excitement. Kennas call was not an answer to one of my prayers about my family and our trials, it was an answer to something far more important. It planted a new seed in my testimony. Like I mentioned above, I wasn't sure if it was an impression from the spirit. I think that's discussing and recording my experience with Chad was key for me. The spirit speaks softly and subtly. Impressions shouldn't be obvious, by nature they 'impress' upon our minds, not force or coerce us.My faith in my own ability to receive revelation was given new life and my expectations have been more reasonably allocated. Some impressions will come quickly in the moment, other will be more silent and reveal themselves in time but either way, I'll be recording them and work on being more reflective. 

I'm over the moon excited for Kenna.She will be an incredible missionary because her heart is totally devoted. It's a part of who she is. Honestly, I cant rememeber the last time I heard her verbally bear her testimony but she shows her devotion and understanding of the great plan of happiness by the way she lives. She's confident, kind and she works works works. She's always asking what she can do to help and finding ways to make peoples day easier. To channel all that love and service to the Lord will be a privilage to watch.

The kids and I have already started preparing for our missionary. Liam and I work on Missionary songs every day. I feel like that's the most appropriate way for me to teach this little two year old about what Aunt Kenna will be doing while she's away. We printed off 15-20 full page pictures of different Ecuadorian scenes, the people, the food, the landscape, special landmark, then we cut them in strips and made a paper chain with scriptures on the back of each link in her countdown chain. Liam had lots of questions about the scriptures and I just can't wait to read her letters to him for FHE in a few months. 

I'm also a little envious. Serving a mission is still on of my greatest desires. When I married Chad, I made him promise that we'd serve together one day. It's one of the reasons we dated so long, I was SURE the Lord had a mission that needed Sister Guttery. Now I know he does, but it'll be a team effort and it's a couple decades in the making. Until then, I'll have an amazing sister to write and learn from, thanks for your faith Hermana Guttery. Your mission is already blessing your family...me specifically