Wannas Oughtas and Gottas,

I know I've already gotten through that crazy stage called 'the single life' but I loved out activity in class on chapter 3 about how to determine who to marry and what thought processes need to occur. I can remember going through these stages and thinking 'does he do this, has he done this, is he someone who will...' The list goes on and on! I feel like I had a leg up when I was dating because I was friends with a bunch of awesome preisthood holding mission going young men in high school. They taught me alot about what I wanted in a husband. I look back on my husband and I in out single dating times and I see the principles of this activity.

The activity was as follows:

Make three lists, first a list of things that you might want in a husband, second things that should probably or ought to have in a husband, and lastly, things you MUST have in your husband. Being already married I tried to remember the qualities that I previously desired in a husband ( trying my hardest to dismiss chad from my thoughts and erase that bias.) then I thought of all the things that ought to come with the title of husband and wrote those down. When I got to my gotta list it was so easy for my to think of those qualities that I just couldnt live without. Me and my husband made our lists and then talked about why our gottas where gottas and why our wannas were wannas and oddly enough most of our oughts where the same. Even though we are already 'stuck with eachother' as we often jokingly put it, we were really able to benifit from this excersise and the things we learned about one anothers expectations brought us closer spiritually and reminded us of the strengths we have that attract eachother and make us such a good companionship. If your looking for a different FHE activity, this one is such a fun one! For us it brought up alot of fun memories of singles ward, horrible dates we went on with others that helped us see what we DIDNT want and the great dates we went on that lead us to each other. Its alspo a great way to re-evaluate the good habits that you practiced when you were dating that attracted you to eachother. For example, one might say that they really admired a certain quality or thing that the other did, the other is now able to really think about whether they are still holding true to those impressions made and if they can do better. It was a way for me to recieve constructive marital critisism through compliments instead of put downs of repremending.