Living with Gratitude

I'm so blessed. I find that I say that a lot the older I get. It's not because as i get older i get more blessing (but I believe that is also the case), it's more so because as I grow closer to Heavenly Father, I see him more and more in my life each day.
   It humbles me to think of the blessings I take for grated and the blessings I failed to see when they were originally given, like my parents who were so patient and loving during the teenage years of my life. Like my great-grandparents, who i was just lucky to know for even just a few years. Like my hundreds of associations with angels on earth that helped to sculpt my testimony and influenced my eternal growth so greatly. I find that with each year at least this one resolution carries over, and that is to more fully see the Lords hand in my life and thank him for those glimpses of heaven.
   Normally I would list what I'm grateful for but each year that list gets longer and each item seems to require more and more praise so I'll settle for the top 10 things I'm thankful for, just this month.

1. I am grateful for my loving companion. Chad has always been a support to me, no matter what stage our marriage is in. We are two very imperfect people, striving for perfection together and sometimes I feel like he's way ahead of me on that journey (and i know he's felt the same), but we are truly striving together. I'm grateful for our common goal. As different as we are, we'll always be on the same page with what matters most. He has shown me patience, love, forgiveness, humor and happiness in the most dark times of my life and makes the good times all the sweeter.

2. I'm grateful to be pregnant. Liams been a blessing since day one, but this month in particular. As I prepare for him I think back on my experiences throughout the pregnancy and I'm deeply grateful for the ups and downs. I'm grateful for the uncertainty that's lead me to rely more fully on the Lord. I'm grateful for the kicks and flutters that reassure me that Liams alive and well, and I'm grateful for the tender mercies the Lords given me and Chad that has reassured us that we can be good parents, we can provide for this little angel and we can make mistakes and still be made whole.
   Pregnancy isn't something I would say that I'm "good at". I think its amazing and mysterious, I think its divine and extremely humbling but it's proven to me that Pregnancy is a two person duty. I'd love to think I could create this child and do a fine job but the vulnerability and changes that occurred during my pregnancy taught me to rely on my sweet husband who I can honestly say has

3. I'm grateful for work. Working at Cambridge Court has been a very bitter sweet experience for me this month. We've had some experiences here that prove to be less than desirable for any manager to have to deal with. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I'm still working as a manager when all my heart wants is to counsel and pursue a career more suited for me. I know this is where I belong right now and that Chad and I still have work to do at Cambridge Court and I am so grateful for amazing co-workers and employers that remind me of that. We have such a self motivated team of assistance and our owners are like family, it makes it much easier for me to stay and work hard where I am, knowing that I'm surrounded by good people that can help me grow and that I can help as well. Someday I'll work with couples and families, counseling and treating relationships but I'm so grateful that my "pay my dues" days can be spent in such a great place.

4. I'm grateful for true friends. There are so many good people in the world and I'm so glad the Lord has taught me (through my loving parents) that we are to love them and strive to see them as He does. That perspective has blessed so many of my relationships and I'm realizing how truly blessed I am to have the associations that I do.

5. School. My education is something I use everyday, either in the work place, in my marriage, and with my friends or family. I'm so grateful the Lord lead me to get the degree I got, and that He allowed me to finish before sending us Liam. The timing of it all has really strengthened my understanding of just how well the Lord knows me and has a special plan for me. My education gave me knowledge and skills I'll treasure forever but it continually brings me closer to my Heavenly Father and that's what's most valuable about it.

6. My calling! This month, my class has been amazing. I feel like when we all gather for temple prep, everyone comes prepared, eager and open to the spirit. I've learned so much from my class. Sitting in a room full or excited soon-to-be missionaries and newlyweds is such a privileged and then we get to talk about the temple for a hour! It's heaven. I'm so glad I have a calling that pushes me to know more and let the spirit guide. I'm convinced I'm working with the best missionaries the church has ever seen! they have so many questions and answers, they practically teach themselves. I love the spirit in the class and the friendships I've built with them this semester.

7. I'm grateful that the Lord is my only judge. I'll admit openly that I struggle sometimes with comparing myslef to others. I'm not as christlike as so and so or I wish I was as organized as so and so. I'm grateful that The Lord knows the intentions of my heart and how hard I try. I'm grateful that the same person that forgives me of my sins judges me for my actions. He knows me best and it motivates me to know him and be like him as I embrace the truth that he is the way the truth and the light.

8. The perks of marriage. Having Chad always there to care for me and for me to care for. Someone to cry to and to laugh with and to share everything with. I'm grateful I made the choice to get married when I did. The time couldn't have been more perfect. Marriage is perfect or me. I love nothing more than taking care of Chad, and I admittedly spend a majority of my time thinking of how I can surprise him or make him laugh. It's the joy of my life and I know Chad feels the same way (which is so comforting). Having someone to take me to the temple each week and cook me dinner when I'm sick is nice but being sealed for time and all eternity is definitely the biggest perk of marriage that I'm grateful for.

9. I'm grateful for my sense of humor. I'm funny ok! I'm so glad I'm able to see humor is bleak situation and bring laughter to people who need a pick-me-up. I know it's strengthened me when a friend has made me laugh at my imperfections or find the funny in a stressful day and I'm grateful that it's a gift the Lord gave me. He has blessed me with so much, but my humor I use so often.

10. I'm grateful for my sweet relationships in my family. My sisters who inspire me with their individuality, strength and confidence. My parents who serve as constant reminders that I have massive parenting shoes to fill and amazing role models to always look up to. My in-laws who bring new spice and strengths to my life with all their talents, love and dedication. My extended family who is not so very extended. They're such a huge part of my life...they ARE my life. Ever present and never waning. I have all the confidence in the world that no matter what Chad and I go through, we will have the strong unwavering support of our families. That to me is the greatest blessing.

Now of course I could go on and on. The gospel, my beautiful apartment, my voice, the atonement, my awesome ward etc etc. But this month, this is what I'm grateful for.

I'm sure as the years go one my lists will change and grow and develop in ways I can't understand now but I'm especially grateful for my gratitude. Living gratefully has blessed my eternal perspective and makes me a happier person every day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!