Since Liam is coming soon, this will be our last Christmas, just me and Chad so I wanted to make it special for him! I planned a special, christmasy activity or treat for each day in December. Each day had a poem and a little box with either a paper describing the activity we are to do or a voucher for the treat. It was briliant and it took me hours.
Days 1-4....bust. We didn't do them. Chad would forget to tell me about other plans he had made (which is totally normal around here), or we'd have a work emergency, or a church activity that lasted a few hours longer than it should have... it just didn't work! all 4 days were botched and I was so ticked about it! I had planned so much and worked so hard to make this December extra special for Chad...then it hit me.
I was doing all this for me.
It's not easy to admit but I was being selfish. Now for sure, Chad would have loved everything I planned and most of the ideas and activities were geared around him and his likes and wants but ... he didn't ask for it. I wasn't letting him down by not doing the little surprises I had planned. I was just creating stress when they didn't pan out. I had just wanted so badly to make this December extra special for us but what I didn't realize is that it's been special every year before without me even trying. I didn't need to get him everything he wanted or participate in every Christmas tradition ever concocted to have a memorable Christmas with my sweetheart. I just need to be with my sweetheart!
NEW PLAN: Have as much relaxing, together-time, fun as possible in the next three weeks...keeping in mind that life is going to happen.
I still have some surprises up my sleeve (Watch for a post about this upcoming Saturday) but I'm going to loosen the reins a bit and be ok with a few crazy days where I don't see my husband because of study groups, 3 hour tests and maintenance projects. I'm going to be ok if we miss a few Christmas specials and holiday concerts. I'm just glad we get this last Christmas with just the two of us. As excited as I am for Liam to be here, I'm so grateful to have a few more weeks with all my attention on Chad and our little Christmas. I'm also pretty excited to plan traditions for just Chad and I even when we have a big family....so much fun ahead! (I'll post our ideas)
Back to the tree!
We went to this amazing little nursery last night. We always drive by it on the freeway but at night it's completely dark and you have to search for it. Once we finally found it, i thought we had stepped into the Northpole. It was so beautiful and the Christmas trees were unlike any that I had ever seen! They were PEREFCT, their shape was perfectly coned with rich, green, plush branches and i could have gotten high off of thier pine sent (seriously though). It was like walking through a story book...until we looked at the price tag of course....just 40-50 dollars out of our range (and about 4 feet too tall) but honestly, I think they'd be workth every penny, thats how gorgeous they were. They had a ton of homemade wreaths, pointsettas and a few other holiday flowers I had never even seen before! We walked away without a tree but it was so worth it... (we might go back just to sniff around).
We went to a local gas station that was selling trees and hardly got out of the car before we decided that there had to be a happy medium...those trees looked like someone had tied a bunch of nasty branches to a long stick. Yeah that sounded a little snooty but us Merrells are serious about our trees.
Last stop Broulims, the grocery store were we got our tree last year. We searched high and low as long as we could in the -13 degree weather until Chad found one he thought would be a good fit for our little apartement. I won't lie, I had my doubts but me and baby were getting frost bite so I shivered "ss-s-s-s-strap it-tt-t-to the t-t-top babe!" As I hurried into the toasty car.
We got home and opened it up and BAM. Perfect tree! Right there in our living room! The smell was amazing as Chad trimmed the base and gave me a piece of the stump for an ornament.
Not all that I had planned is going to pan out this month but we're loving every minute together. Chad and I are so excited to decorate the tree tonight and order Chinese take-out while watching polar express. (This IS a Merrell tradition that won't be stopped). Stay tooned for progress pics and old Guttery family traditions.
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