patience with a purpose of growth

Patience We were having a CFM disscussion at dinner and it really affected me so i wanted to share some of the thoughts we discussed. Right now the scripture words are so big for my kids, we spend a lot of time rebuilding sentences using synonymns to help the boys understand the messages more. We'll take words, ask the boys if they know what they mean and then define them correctly and help them rebuild sentences and definitions based on thier perception and understanding of the word. It's a practice that comes really naturally but when I went to time out for woman a couple years ago, Anthony Sweat talked about it much more eloquently. I love hearing him talk about the complexity of languages and how our understanding of words allows us to learn and relearn and relearn sentences by the changing of our undertsnading through experiences. Its so true and so simple. That being said, we continue to practice this as a family and it edifies us and allows us to learn from eachother more naturally. We were dicussing the principle of patience. We were talking about how sometimes we will recieve blessings right away but many blessings are withheld. We talked about why that might be and the faith required to accept that. Patience was brought us as we gave the example of a mom having pocicles for her kids, theyearned them through chores but she chose to withhold the popcicles until after dinner. I asked the kids "why would a mom do that? the children did thier chores, they made promise together that day that if they do thier work without complaint and make kind choices, they would receive a popscicle. Why dont they get a popscicle?" The boys looked a little confused at first but Lim chimed in, "They still get the popscicle, the mom promised and for some reasons she just isnt giving it to them yet?" he was perfectly right, confused but right. Liam thought a second longer and siad, "the children just have to be patient". I explained that the promised blessing were still promised but the timeline on the promise was never agreed upon. Liam liked this, he realized that he had another negotiating strategey for the future...always negotite the time of received privilages is justas much as the privilage itself. Great approach except we often forget that the people incharge of bestowing said privileges or blessings, most often have a greater scope of understanding. I explained that God knows more than us and he has our best interest in mind. So does the mother in the story. She intends to give the popsciles as promised but she also know that the children needto eat the healthy dinner she prepared first, she know that they may not see it that way but regardless, her responsibility if doing what it verybest for her children. Likewise, God knows what is best for us, we may have earned blessings in this life that would better suit us in the next, some blessing or saved for the afterlife with great purpose, other blessing are withhed and we will never understand in this life why. This is where faith, patience and trust come in. Liam understood that patience was required but i know he didnt quiet connect that we practice patience BECAUSE of faith and trust. "Matix what is patience to you?" he was very thoughtful, so we all prepared ourselves for greatness, Matix is a trove of knowledge and understanding hidden in a dust cloud of dirt, bugs and bruises. "Patience is when you feel sad and frustrated, but you keep on trying because it just hasnt happened yet." My eyes lit up with excitment. NEW WORDS! Words i had never used to describe patience. "Feeling Sad and frustrated" is not in my brains definition bank for patience. Edurance, Stive, Waiting, Faithful,...these are all words ive easily associated with patience and i think in the church, ive learned that patience is to be endured with a smile, that it can be difficult but it is a part of the process, and being in my 30's, i am familiar with the process so it really has become something that i endure without much strife. However, Matixs definition reminded me or a younger mind and a more pure state of understanding because...patience IS sad, its frustrating, confusing, anxiety-inducing and can even feel like a lack of love and intervention from our heavenly parents. When we lack the knowledge of having a loving heavenly father who keeps his promises and we dont have experience to build that relationship on, patience is just sad and frustrating. Those feelings are natural and real but they are also feelings to be overcome. I think thats what struck me the most. Our feelings are real but that does not make them right. I'm reading a great book right now called "the Coddleing of the American Mind" and it goes into this extensively and where historically this mindset began and how harmful it is to our growth and the development of societal compassion. We live in a time where if you feel something you follow it. You feel all the feelings and the world wants you to live in them. Live in those feelings and let them define you and your experience. Our feelings ARE real and they ARE important to our growth and development, but once we learn what those feelings do for use, WE get to decided what those feelings dictate in our lives and how we apply them. God gave us such an incredible scope of feelings but not all of them promote growth and spiritual health. For example, shame, doubt, anger, they're all feelings we will feel as humans, we get to decided how much space we'll keep for them. In patience, its natural to feel sad, frustrated, confused, even doubtful, but we get to decided what those natural feelings do for us. I think its important to see our feelings as motivators and WE get to decided what they're motivating us to do. I think thats where the wires get crossed too often. We feel motivated by our feelings but sometimes, we feel like our feelings are driving the car. The truth is, we're the drivers and the feelings are the gas pedal, we get to decide where they'll take us. Doubt can take us away from Christ if we slam on the gas and let it run us of the road of rightousness but if we take the feelings and say, "i have all this doubt or all this anxiousness, i' am going to use these feelings to motivate me to seek a deeper understanding of Gods love for me or I am going to use this frustration to focus on talking with others about thier experiences, relating with thier frustrations and problem solving so that when this happens again, my frustration will melt into a more manageable feeling that encourages growth instead of gossip. It's far easier said than done and we all have feelings that are harder for us to control. For so many, it is anger, but it can just as esily be axiety, doubt, sadness, complacency, loneliness. those feelings are 100% real and i would say even needed in order to teach us what needs to change in our lives. Patience can be sad, frustrating, lonely and so many other feelings, but when we recognize those feelings it can give the action of patience so much more depth and turn a painful process into a purposeful one.