Update on my Miserable Senior Thesis and I know Heavenly Father Loves Me

So, if you read my previous post, you probably know I shouldn't be blogging, you're probably thinking, "Kayla, if you have so much work to do, stop blogging! Get on it girl!"... and you'd be right. I have about 22 hours of work left before Friday at 11:30, but I NEED A BREAK! 

 

Warning: I talk about puking...you've been warned

I have had the worst and best past four days and I gotta post this craziness so I can laugh at it some day in the very distant future. It started on Saturday, the day I posted my last post about everything that went down with my paper. long story short, a semester and a half worth of work, wasted and required to graduate. Saturday I tried to get stuff done for my paper but I didn't get very far because frankly, I need guidance, with an all new set of data that I'm very unfamiliar with, its hard to write a 30-40 page research paper on it. So i recoded all my variables and got them ready to test and made a plan to meet with tutors 5 separate times in the coming weeks to power through all this make up work. So Saturday, recoding and wishing i could do more (which just stresses me out ya know, I felt helpless).

   Sunday...I try not to do homework on Sunday, this Sunday was hard. Chads Dad came into town and Chad and I were in charge of a Fireside that evening, I also had my last temple prep class and a meeting with my Bishop. It was crazy! All day I tried getting with my pianist and practicing all day long but I didn't get to til about 45 minutes before the fireside. Note: haven't sung in public in literally years. We were also in charge of the refreshments and  talks so when I wasn't teaching, practicing and meeting, i was reviewing my talk. I finally get comfortable with the acoustics in the chapel when another Bishop walks in and says, "You guys will have to practice your little song somewhere else, we have a fireside in this chapel." Waitwhat! Yeah, it got double books, we booked the chapel through the stake and they booked the chapel through the school. 

   SO about ten minutes before it starts Chad and I find a classroom up stars in the Spori building that has about 40 seats in it and a piano. It would have to do. We try to pick out our ward members and tell them to go upstairs instead of in the chapel and grab a few young men and ask them to gather chairs into this less than large room. It was tight....real tight and a little warm, just enough to get me sweating and nervous. 

   I was so stressed, everyone was crammed in there like sardines and I felt so much pressure to make it "worth thier while". thankfully, everything went well and it was almost exactly and hour long. Sam and baby Aaron, saved they day by bringing the milk towards the end of the fireside so it would stay cold (thanks Sam!) and it was over. As soon I we drove home to change, the headache set in. all the built up stress of the day was just released and my body was not happy about it. Sunday...no homework, stress released, pressures on!

   Monday was less then productive to say the least. I think I can easily say that it was the WORST day of pregnancy so far! Poor baby just wants mama to stop stressing i think but Monday was filled with lessons and prayers. I started my day off with lots of tutoring, i reviewed my recodes, ran my descriptive statistics and linear regression and blah blah blah (translated those last three parts for ya, you're welcome). After 4-5 hours at school my headache from the night before started getting worst.

Sidenote: how many of you get a full 8-9 hours of sleep after a bad tension headache and wake up with the same headache? is that normal!?

Chad came to pick me up from school and we didn't even make it half way down main street before I forced chad to pull off the road into the nearest place...I was gunna loose it. And I did, IN A TACOBELL BATHROOM. Just so you're aware, some people fear death, zombie apocolyse or evil dictators...not me, nope, i fear puking in public. 

   Fear conquered.

I ran back outside to my sweet confused husband and said, it's all uphill from hear!

So naive...so very naive of me.

I got home and started prepping some of the food for dinner (Pretzel jello salad). Then ran the car back over to Chad. I was going to stay home and work on homework but with this headache, i thought i needed fresh air, or sunshine or something other than my laptop and statistics. 

Wrongo

I didn't even make it a half mile and i pulled into a gas station to puke...in public... again! (not my favorite thing) There was a sign on the door that said maintenance, but miraculously, as soon as i reached the door, an employee came over, removed the sign, and walked away. Thank you!

Fear conquered TWICE!

Sweet Sam came to the rescue again with her peppermint essential oils that helped take the edge off my headache (for about 20 minutes). Then it was off to party with the family... which translates to watching everyone eat and not touching my food for fear of puking in public again. I had Chad take me home, i took a cold shower and collapsed into bed, napping for 3 hours! how does that happen after 9 hours of sleep the night before! Crazy baby business!

   I woke up, with the same dang headache and realized that all three of my dream consisted of me working on, turning in and presenting my senior thesis. No wonder my head hurts. I walked out in the front room and Sam and Aaron were hanging out while the boys worked on cars, Sam and I decided to get some grocery shopping done. About 15 minutes after we arrived at the store, I was running for yet another public bathroom, but this time there was a line out the door... for the mens and womens bathroom! Whats a girl to do but pray! I Prayed, "Heavenly Father, I really need an empty stall right now, preferably with no neighbors!" two seconds later, the girls in line mysteriously left and  as I nonchalantly ran into the bathroom the three ladies who were in there left, all at the same time! the bathroom was MINE! I puked and prayed a little prayer of thanks

 Fear conquered again!

I pick up some Tylenol because I think this is the worst case scenario the Doc was talking about, and we went home, where i puked...again. I took my nausea pill and ate a banana and Sam made me dinner ... again (it's nice to have such an awesome sister-in-law...be jealous!) I sat still, not doing much of anything but focusing on getting rid of that nasty headache! We ate dinner together and the boys moved from car to car, fixing and breaking things (it's cute). 

   By the end of the night, i decided, my body doesn't handle stress well and I need to fix something so my baby doesn't come out a hot mess o stress. Chad and I prayed that my week would go better and that i would be well enough to finish my paper. I know Heavenly Father can help me with my studies, if there is one thing i;'ve learned about school at BYU-I, it's that! So I prayed fervently for help in the coming days, because I know without a doubt that I CANNOT do this without Him. I went to bed, holding my throbbing head but hopeful for the day ahead.

   I woke up today, rolled to my knees and thanked God for my solid 9 hours of rest and the headache was GONE! Great start to a great day! Sam and Preston made us breakfast...so if you haven't caught on, heavenly Father has given me three amazing blessings already, Sam Preston and Aaron, who make me food, take care of me and Aarons just really cute. I was off to tutoring at 9 and stayed there working on my paper til 2. I was just starting to get the hang of it when my computer over heated and shut off. My heart sank. I ran to the book store and grabbed the cheapest computer fan I could find, $3.49   and it was worth about $3.49. It was another hour before I got it turned on again. I told Chad about my dilemma and he dropped everything and ran up to campus with a concourse of solutions. We tried everything, nothing worked but he brought some extra cords and we decided my last hope was to go up to the tutoring lab and try and charge it to jump start it. We said another little prayer together and Chad gave me one of those dreamy kisses I love (he's such a hunk). I'm grateful for a husband who's always trying to make my life easier and make me happier! I went back up stairs and tried our plan Z. It worked...I cried....everyone looked at me funny and i didn't care! I was so grateful! I finished all my work in my statistics program and sent it to my self so I would not have to use that dumb laptop any more! And it all started working just in time for my next tutoring appointment. I got so much accomplished! I still have so much writing and some serious polishing to do on my paper but I was feeling pretty great! ( Both about my paper and physically, not sick feelings AT ALL) I thought, i deserve a little DR. PEPPER So I grab my emergency Dr. Pepper from my backpack that i brought in case my headache came back too strong and i opened it. It exploded all over me, my backpack and the three chairs around me in the tutoring center. I can only imagine what these people are thinking..."first this girls praying, then she's crying, now she spills soda everywhere!?" Yeah thats me. I grabs some tissues (super great cleaning tool...said no one ever) and made a lame attempt of cleaning up after myself, grab all my junk and RAN away. I'm not proud of what i did.

    

I can see the light, at the end of this miserable Senior Thesis tunnel, and it is a beautiful, attainable light! I am so grateful for the power of prayer and faith. I'm grateful for a supportive family, who live worthily to be angels in the lives of those around them and I'm grateful for humor that gets me through this week.