On our way home from California we had an experience as a family that we will not soon forget. We packed our car and hit the road around noon. All morning, Matix and Liam had been running non-stop with cousins, wearing themselves our for the long car ride home but sweet Matix seemed to get tired much quicker than his big brother. He was a little warm as we loaded into the car but I didn't think he had a fever, I just assumed he was a little extra tired from the sun at the beach all day the day before. I gave him some Motrin just in case and as soon as I buckled him up for the long drive, he fell asleep. Sleep, just what he needed.
About 30 minutes into the drive we hit the Friday afternoon, San Diego Traffic. Liam said, "Mama, I think Matix is awake but I don't know." A weird thing for him to say. Before i could look back, I heard a gasp for air and looked turned around to find Matix shaking with his lips bright purple, he was hardly breathing and his eyes were not open, I screamed and leaped from the front seat to the back to try and help him catch his breath. He was completely unresponsive, his hands were freezing, his body, burning hot to the touch and sweaty. Shortly after I jumped in the back, his jaw started locking up. I kept trying to get him to respond to me by opening his eyes but they were rolling back in his head and he still wasn't breathing normal. It hit us like a dark, heavy cloak of uncertainty, that something was very very wrong. Chad started loosing control, we both briefly let our minds run wild with fear. While I quickly unbuckled him, and just after I shouted to Chad to put his hazards on and get us off the freeway as quick as we could, I cried to Heavenly Father out loud, asking him to heal Matix and help me to do what Matix needed me to do. Immediately after, Matixs breathing began to regulate and his jaw loosened, he was still unresponsive and going in and out of consciousness but what I could only assume that what was a seizure was over. I felt a new confidence that was not my own but it was gave me the words i needed to calm a very scared big brother and reason with a frantic and fearfull father. All the while, I called 911 who offered to send paramedics but we didn't feel like we had time to pull over and wait for them so I hung up on them (rude i know) and looked up the closest urgent care we could find. As soon as we got in there we were relieved to be with professionals...for just a second, because as soon as they saw him, they turned us around and sent us to the ER. Then we were really nervous that they couldn't help us and seemed extremely worried too. The hospital was only 2 miles away....which in California means 15 minutes. Mati was unresponsive the WHOLE time.
We got into the hospital and they helped us right away since the urgent care had called them and asked them to have a bed ready for us on the sidewalk. As soon as they got us in they said he would need an IV for fluids and incase they needed to give him any emergency doses that would need to hit the blood stream fast. I gave him motrin because his fever was 105 and climbing (it was 104.3 at the urgent care but at the urgent care i couldn't give him Mortin because he wasn't able to swallow yet.) His poor little veins are so small and the hospital didn't have small enough viles to fit the needle size they needed (come on Laguna hospital, come on). So they put the needle in and instead of drawing blood into viles they let the blood spill out and caught whatever they could in a bigger vile...making blood go everywhere....as if a screaming, sick post seizured baby needed more trauma. I was not happy about it at all, i remember feeling upset and thinking it was unnecessary. Chad held him and helped the nurses however he could but we both felt pretty helpless. I sat helpless in the hall with Liam so he wouldn't have to hear brother cry and see all the blood. we went down the hall to say a prayer of thanks and talk about what was happening to Matix to put a very nervous and talkative liam at ease. He came back to be greeted by nurses who armed him with beanie babies, crackers and juice to give to Matix when we reenter the ER.
After they drew the blood and tested it for all seizure-causing illnesses in his age group they came in to check everything else and do some brain damage tests because apparently fevers that high and seizures could cause brain damage. Matix was crying now but his fever was going down slowly and within 3 hours he was back to 100 degrees and responsive. Moana you-tube videos, brother beanie baby and cuddles from mom and dad helped a ton.
Thankfully, he has no brain damage, and they diagnosed it a Febrile Seizure which just means that the seizure was caused by the fever and was not associated with epilepsy or any other serious diseases that cause seizures. Whew! Apparently kids ages 0-5 have faster heart rates so when they have a fever, their body temp can rise rapidly and when a fever rises the body temp too fast, the body responds with a seizure. Since Matix was sleeping i didn't notice his fever rising and it just took 1 hour to go from a little warm to a piping hot 105! In other words, I'll never sleep again.
We were discharged with some amoxicillin to take care of whatever caused the fever and lots of Motrin to keep the fever down. As soon as they took the IV out, Matix fell asleep and stayed asleep for 3 hours. We got back on the road and checked Matix every other minute or so. Seizures are so scary. So so scary, but i feel a little more prepared if i ever have to deal with one again.
Chad and I talked for hours afterwards about the whole experience. We both had drastically different experiences with a few similar feelings. Chad said he felt out of control, like he wanted to just stop in the middle of the freeway to take Matix out of the car and run as fast as he could to were every he needed to to fix the problem. He agreed when I presented the obvious fact that he would definitely not be helping at all as he has NO idea what to do with a seizing child or if he was even having a seizure, but it was just his instinct and he wasn't able to shake the fight or flight instinct in the slightest, he was just going to fight fight fight until Matix was ok. We both had things we would do differently but Chad would change everything, he felt disappointed in his reaction but i reminded him, that its hard to practice our emergency situation skills. I think we both agreed that the first 10 minutes was shock and uncertainty but amidst the chaos, tears and hand holding, I felt my Saviors love for me in a new and wonderful way that i have to share.
He heard my pray... I was practically screaming it, but the Lord answered my prayers in a way that was so specific to me. I felt like one of the biggest lessons i learned from this whole ordeal was that faith in the Lords ability to make us adequate to our tasks will dispel not only fear, but lack of confidence and the shame and helplessness that comes with it. -----Upon reflection shortly after we left, I kept thinking of Joseph Smith in the Doctrine and Covenants 122 verse 7 when the Lord reminds him that all things, no matter how bleak or tumultuous, "shall give thee experience and shall be for they good." I in no way and implying that we were put through hell, we're blessed with the simplicity of his diagnosis and how completely un-life-altering it all is. However, in my heart, this scripture spoke to me and a dark and heavy place and I was reminded of the strength as a mother and as a wife that this moment has taught me. My confidence in prayer and in my Saviors love for me and my family was made richer and fuller. I felt like i could offer something to my husband that he needed. Any old day, that feels good.
I bear witness that the Lord will always make up the difference when we fully and faithfully rely on Him. I know that fear is a distraction from our Savior, when we fear we demonstrate a lack on confidence in His ability and power but when we practice faith, we show Him that we're ready to be made more whole through Him.
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