When the wave settles

Spending my summers on mission beach in Southern California, I remember wading in water up to my waist for hours at a time, waiting for the perfect wave that i could ride into the shore where my mom stood smiling behind the camcorder. That being said,  I'm also no stranger to the helpless struggle of when the waves caught me of gaurd and knocked me over, sometimes with strength that flipped me between the surface and the sand, the salt water burned my nose and my instinct to find gravity  again forced me to streghten my legs in hopes that they'll stick to the ground til the wall of water passed over me.The most frustration part of it all was that waves are often followed by friends (other waves) and as soon as I've got my bearings, I'm either slammed with another waterwall, or ducking back into the water that once betrayed me in order to avoid another involuntary underwater gymnastics routine.
    Last weekend reminded me of a distant summer struggle.

I had been hit with a wave on Friday. Family came into town and while i normally am thrilled to host and have family in town, I spent the first 12 hours of my day (from midnight til noon) wrapped around the waste basket, experience what I can only assume was a horrible stomach virus that chimed like a grandfather clock every hour with violent erruptions. With all the blood vessels in my face burst and wet hair fresh from a shower at 5pm, I welcomed our family, trying to assure them I wasn't contagious. I of course had no groceries as I had planned on shopping that morning so i through together some leftover for us all for dinner. Hoping for a better night, we all went to bed hoping for a better tomorrow
 Another wave rolled in on Saturday as my kids refused to sleep for the second night in a row. Matix was inconsolable, throwing himself on the ground in fits of rage and Liam was practically nocturnal. We tried to stay positive and "find our footing". We had a Merrell family gathering and Trish, who was staying with us, was in charge of the food, we helped her get everything organized and dishes made in the morning so we could all have a big family lunch at the park that afternoon. Unfortuneatly the turn out wasnt great so we were left with lots of lefts overs and the lunch date was cut short. I spent the evening trying to figure out what was wrong with Matix and forgetting to get groceries for the second day in a row. but we survived the second wave. things had to get better. Sunday was just around the corner.
  A rare third wave came crashing in on Sunday morning as we tried to blindly get ready for church through our sleepless eyes. Matix was difinately sick and we had no evidence except refusal to sleep and extreme crankiness. I was going on 3 days no sleep and I officially had hit survival mode. The place where i duck into the water and try to dodge the obsticles to survive. I unsuccessfuly attempted to sleep on Chads shoulder during Sacrament meeting (shamelessly) and barely made it through by final meetings. Immeadiately after getting home I made the kids lunch (Leftovers, again) Chad took Matix to the urgent care and I ran to my next meeting, which was followed by a visit with a investigator with the RS Pres. Service was healing and I found a second wind as I visited with this sweet sister with a stong testimony and a willing heart. She has been hit with a few waves herself but her resiliance was rejuvinating. As we walked out of what was supposed to be a 30 minutes introductory visit, 2 hours later, I was done. cooked. ready to go home and collapse...or eat....or eat while collapsing. On the drive home a wise president asked if I would be willling to make dinner for a family of 6 and deliver it to them at 5...which was 1 hour from the current time. I hesitated slightly then whole heartly assured her that I'd get the family fed. I know service is always good and i know hesitating is faithless. But Chad text me saying Matix had a double ear infection and he was picing up antibiotics. great. I stepped out of the car and as I walked inside, I was fearful. I had no strength, no groceries, my family was sick and tired, I had my own family and another family we were hosting to feed and now I signed myself up for a 4th wave. I was angry for a second. Why had I done this to myself. I then opened the fridge, almost sarcastically, to look at what I remembered to be a completely empty fridge. What I found gave me chills. All the food left uneatten from the Merrell luncheon was stacked neatly in the fridge and the Love of Christ hit me like a 5th wave ( but a good wave this time). How did God know that Trish would stay with us, that we would have a poor turn out at the luncheon, leaving us with more than enough food to answer the prayers of a bed ridden mother and broaden my heavenly perspective of Gods love for his children. Naturally Trish was happy the food could be used and not left to waste and I had extra hands at home to help me make sandwiches for this family for the next day incase thier mom was still ill. As Trish and I talked about the circumstances of the weekend and how Gods hand was in each day, i got to thinking why it took me so long to see it.
    I think when the waves are rolling over us, the Lord doesn't require us to see all he sees above the waters surface, we cant, but I think he does require us to always be fighting to stay above water. I don't always have my act together, sometimes my kids have double ear infections and I dont know it till 3 days later. Sometimes I wonder how I'll do the service thats asked of me or I dont know how to overcome and obstacle I face, but I knows Gods hand is in it all and he requires me to fight. Not just tred water, but ride the waves, let them wash over me and stand against thier resitance. I'm so grateful for heavenly influences around me that live their lives to be conducive to the spirit and become instruments of God. I hope to be one and I'm grateful for a day that I was one. I also know the no matter our shortcomings, we can be made whole and worthy to do Gods work, THROUGH Gods work.