A Kindergartner in the House

Liam's in school. the house is quiet. Matix and I have little to do and have found ourselves checking the time every hour. We miss our Liam.

We've been preparing for this all summer. Liam loves to learn and the idea of school has always excited him. I tried over and over to coax out any nervous thoughts or inhibitions he might have about starting school but there was nothing there. Only excitement and confidence. As the 1st day approached we made a special point to attend any events the schools put on in preparation for the school year so we could be as informed and 'broken-in' as possible. I got to meet and mingle with all the Kinder teachers at a carnival the school put in a couple weeks before and our whole family got to know the administration really well, so much so that by the first day everyone was greeting him by name.

Liam is thriving. He loves his teacher and is thrilled to have another "Liam" in his class who he has become instant friends with. He loves recess and never plays with the same kids. He is still horrible at eating his lunch but now Mom can't get on his case about it until he gets home, at which point I go way easy on him because I've missed him so. He loves to wear his uniform whenever he can and tell everyone he meets that he goes to ALA. He's a proud Patriot with a lot of swag thanks to his Grandpa. On friday he has dress down days which means he can wear t shirts witht he school logo on it intead of collard shirts but he insists on wearing his uniform all week long, he even asked if he could wear a tie on Friday so he can look like Mr. Miller (his principle).

Mrs. Munley is a brand new kindergarten teacher and boy does she have her hands full. Ive been in to help in the class room a couple times and each time i leave i feel like i should be personally paying her to deal with all the madness she deals with everyday. I'm grateful for her patience.

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Now we're half way through the year and school and it has been eventful. The principle has called home more than once because of incidents either involving Liam or indirectly involving liambut pertaining to his classroom and ive been so on the fence about having him at ALA. From knife threats (yes, you heardme, a knife threat in his classroom) that left him cry in the principles office. To getting punched in the stomache at recess. To excessive nurse trips (which i have infered was from trying to get out of recess) and Liam slapping a friend in the face! ( NOT like him at ALL). I was seeing changes that broke my heart. Liam and i have a great line of communication. it took a few months but I've figured out how to get him to open up about whats really bothering him, or what really happens at school. I've gotten to hear what really excites him and what he struggles with daily because we have a tradition of small talk in the car and big talk an hour later at home when he unwinds a little. Between conversation with his teacher and principle and conversations with him, I've really just come to the conclusion that there are a few personalities in his class that are as strong and big as his (as I'm sure there will always be in every class) but the difference is that most kids don't continue to hang out with individuals that quarrell with but Liam WILL NOT QUIT! He struggles with 2 boys, one has definitely got behavior issues and a tough home life, which breaks my heart, but he is very mean to Liam and known by all the kids in the class for always being at the principles. Every time I've gone to help in the classroom, he has been isolated from the class for poor behavior and the little I saw him actually interacting with classmates i could see why. He tried to get everyone in trouble that he came in contact with and if he wasn't lying about others, he was breaking crayons and throwing them at the teachers desk or physically hurting others.....and that's who Liam calls one of his best friends. I've had lots of conversations with Liam about his friends, trying to drive home the truths... We need to surround ourselves with people who make good choices....our friends need to be people who lift us up and are examples of kindness....choose friends who make you want to be better.... or more rudimentary, be friends with people who don't hurt you! But inevitably when it comes down to it, i'm grateful Liam is still trying to be his friend. There are days i just want to say "Liam you cant be his friend, he isnt kind and he makes bad choices, please stay away from him so you wont get in trouble or get hurt" but every time I try to say the words, i know what he'll hear is, my friend is a bad person and my mom doesn't like him and neither should I. I dont want him thinking that because i know everyone needs a friend and honestly, Liam knows who he is and tries every day to be kind and if he fails a few times because he's trying to be friends with someone whose different from him, I think he'll end up learning more in the long run. but naturally, it worries me a lot and it takes all my will power not to make definitive statements about this other kid like, "he isn't kind" or "he's a trouble maker" but I remember, ' He's 5, his life is very unpredictable and unbalanced at home and Liam and him DO have this in common, they are both type A personalities and LOVE to be in charge.
    I don't know if Liam will be his close friend for years and if i had to put money on it, id say they probably wont see each other much after this school year is over but i do know Liam will remember the way i talked about his friends, and that i encouraged kindness and fought my natural parental desire to only have my son associate with easy, good natured people and instead encouraged him to be a leader and love everyone, even those who are harder to love.
   I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but it feels right and Liam is a happy kid who loves school so I'm going to keep heading in this direction. I was hiking with Liam today and we were talking about a movie we had recently watched together about two brave brothers, they both had very different personalities so i asked Liam "which brother do you think you are most like, the older brother or the younger brother?" ( I expected him to say older broth just based off of the fact that he's the oldest in our family and the way i phrased the question.) To my surprise he said the younger brother, i asked why and he said, "Because he is smart and confident like me" Que my dramatic eyebrow raise! "Really!I'mean yes, you are smart and confident" (My heart burst with joy for his knowledge of who he is) then he went on "and he wants to be friends with everyone". The movie context and me knowing what he was referring to brought peace to my mind. Liam is consistently smarter than I give him credit and he's 100% right, he is confident, smart and determined to be friends with everyone. I know friends will dissapoint him and he'll make his share of mistakes but i feel so lucky to watch and help him navigate these special relation ships...well this post got away from me. Summary : Liam loves school, Liam's a great friend and his mom worries too much.